The Loquacious Limey

The Precious Little Princess

Some of you might remember a rather curious show called, “Xena: Warrior Princess”? Well, there’s to be a Convention next month in Los Angeles to allow those with fond memories to debate its appeal and break bread with its stars. Lucy Lawless, who was its title character, will even be in attendance…Almost.

The press release for the whole celebration makes it painstakingly clear that she will not sign autographs, do any photos with fans, attend an integral Cabaret or even lend her presence to the in-house promotion of her next, forgettable film.

So for exactly what, might I ask, is this forthcoming has-been receiving her fee?

Some Hollywood legends had reputations for ego-indulgence like this, but Ms. Lawless is not even close to their league: An utter unknown with no prior awards or perceptible credits receives worldwide exposure, the worship of millions and a great deal of money for one simple part, then rewards the legions of fans whose love of her work was the singular cause of such blessed good-fortune with a personal appearance that’s as meaningless, shallow and imbued with disdain as is humanly possible for her to achieve.

Other than developing an excessive interest in children or collecting the fiscal rewards of success and snorting it all up your nose there are very few traits that can turn a nascent career and boundless potential into a fading and irretrievable memory with greater success and more dazzling alacrity than treating your audience like this. With tickets at over $300, the effort required by them to earn the cash to attend is a great deal more than hers to receive it. Yet this is to be their reward.

I have Actors on file who could challenge Ms. Lawless to a thespian’s duel and eclipse her best work without breaking a sweat; Yet they are unknown, while she is a ’star.’ Given such heartless, uncaring behavior, the logic behind this just gets more opaque.

If any of you have plans to attend, I hope you’ll now reconsider. The best reward for such an arrogant insult is for the audience to focus elsewhere. Nothing shrivels an ego with more painful effect than for its indulgent owner to face a room full of crickets.

And in this case, that’s long overdue.

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The Precious Little Princess

Photo by Mudeth

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