The Loquacious Limey

[The Limey] – Fans of Apple’s curious form of overpriced bling are often blessed with a calm outward demeanor, but Jason Bateman made more than 2,000 of them implacable enemies yesterday when he cut in line for the new iPhone 4G.
The former “Arrested Development” star was waiting in line outside Apple’s store at the Grove [...]

[The Limey] – By now you’ve endured every attention-gaining excuse Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag can make up for their ’split.’ But the real reason for this latest infantile play for attention is simple – these two dim-bulbs just ran out of cash.
It’s well known that Spencer, 26, serves as the ‘brains’ of the outfit, [...]

[The Limey] – In what you can expect to be merely the latest in a long line of teases and ‘leaks’ on her condition it’s now being claimed that Mariah Carey and husband, Nick Cannon are preparing for twins.
The adolescent campaign of teases and self-serving denials began when Mariah, 41, was spied at the ‘Southern [...]

[The Limey] – In a disputed piece that is almost certainly more MTV hype it’s being reported that the entire cast of that peerless example of brainless inbreeding, ‘Jersey Shore’ are due to be axed and replaced before season three.
Somebody up there likes me!
Pop Eater says the repugnant collection of talentless half-wits that comprises the [...]

[The Limey] – In between being every B-list celebrity’s favorite agony aunt on his KIIS-FM radio show, Ryan Seacrest also finds time to front American Idol, and he’s now being praised for saving one contestant, Crystal Bowersox from losing her chance at the prize.
Crystal, it seems, was in the process of quitting the show when [...]

[The Limey] – People, we need a blacklist. A list of all the brainless, worthless, attention-seeking egocentrics who are currently suffering from the groundless delusion they’re famous.

I’m talking about the seemingly unending swathe of mediocre performers who are so irreparably inept, yet driven by ego they engage in one risible, lamentable and inexcusable publicity stunt [...]

[The Limey] – After a relentless 15-year fight to gain money there is not one iota of evidence had ever been promised a Federal appeals court in Texas today ruled that those representing the late Anna Nicole Smith should not get to rob her late husband
This whole classless story began when the pair met in [...]

[The Limey] So the music has faded, the red carpet’s rolled up and the whole endless ego-fest is over for a year. Or at least, until James Cameron demands a recount.
But of all the clues to be gathered from this glitzy debacle, two stand out above all: Having an original story helps to win the [...]

[The Limey] – After nine endless, pain-riddled weeks MTV’s latest hype-driven insult, Jersey Shore has vacated our screens. But rather than give the public a few weeks of BS-free silence the ‘network’ is now leaking stories on how the ‘cast’ of this mindless farce are supposedly demanding more money to do it again.
The offer from [...]

[The Limey]  After three years of merciful peace, reality star Heidi Montag released her first album on an innocent world at the end of December. And in a characteristically understated display of unfounded ego she announced it was destined for gold.
Entitled ‘Superficial’ this tuneless, unwelcome dirge was supposed to be released in 2007, but got [...]