Her collective gender have spent four entire decades tirelessly proclaiming their desire and innate ability to earn an income themselves, and the same time ensuring such laws as Ms. Moore has now used are protected and left firmly in place so they are free to leech money from men and avoid the slightest need to do any such thing.

One of these acions is bullshit. It’s time our compatriots decided which.

Photo by Dolphin

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Mel Gibson divorce is just added proof

Of course, the big snag is the cost – Tickets for some star’s live shows are well over $100 and that’s forcing a lot of fans to give up the live experience and settle for CD’s and TV spots.

But if you count yourself among that crowd you’re not doomed yet, so don’t worry: The ticket firm ‘acheapseat.com‘ is a rare example in the live concert business – you can get great seats at all the major events, but at more sensible prices.

Whether you’re into the Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion or Rascall Flatts these guys can help. Or if your idea of a dream is touchline seats for the New York Jets or San Diego Chargers the guys at ‘CheapSeat’ can save you money on those as well.

Summer is still in full bloom and the concert season will be running for months, and if you want to go see the stars without going broke, you now know what to do.

Good luck and enjoy…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Good news for concert fans

In the long and colorful history of this award there can be few people whose claim to deserve it is as solid as Bruce’s. This unique man got famous the old-fashioned way – He worked for it. He’s been performing since he was 13 and to this day it’s still hard to find one person with even a mildly bad view of either him or his work.

So here’s to the unique and irreplaceable Brucie: That is one attractive ribbon you’ve won yourself there, and you deserve every lustrous inch.

Photo by Squeak

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Nice to see you, Sir Brucie

John signed the ‘Double Fantasy’ LP on December 8th, 1980 as he left New York’s iconic Dakota building in Manhattan at about 5pm to attend a recording session.

When John and his wife, Yoko Ono returned at around 10.50pm, Chapman shot him four times in the back. John was rushed to the Roosevelt Hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival at 11:07 pm.

He was just 40-years old.

The album was found near the Dakota’s front doors by a janitor and passed to the FBI as evidence. It was later returned and is now being sold by a dealer.

“The album is the most extraordinary artifact in rock-and-roll history,” Gary Zimet modestly told the Post. “It has Lennon’s signature on the cover and Chapman’s forensically-enhanced finger prints on the sleeve. I originally sold it in 1999, but it’s back up for sale.”

And the avaricious seller of this tasteless memento wants his name kept a secret – with good reason;

“The current owner doesn’t want to be named because he’s received death threats.,” Gary reveals.

Yoko later had John cremated and scattered his ashes in Central Park, where the ‘Strawberry Fields’ memorial now stands. Her response to this tawdry transaction is not yet known, but it’s pretty sure neither she nor any true Beatles fan would ever condone or support it.

Most of you probably weren’t born at the time, but what’s your review of this news?…

Photo by: David Shankbone

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

John Lennon killer’s signed LP goes on sale at $850,000

Joining past recipients such as Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal and George Carlin, Tina accepted the ‘Mark Twain Prize for American Humor’ during the $1,000-a-plate dinner at New York’s Kennedy Center on November 9th.

And she couldn’t resist a few digs at the ‘unique’ political figure who helped make her a star.

“Politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women,” Fey told the crowd. “Except, of course, those who will end up paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win…Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner, or whatever.”

The crowd loved it. Then Tina floated the punchline;

“But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back – The whole thing’s a disaster.”

But when the show aired on PBS on Sunday, that’s not what was heard. The rape and evolution lines were gone, and only her blander remarks survived, such as;

“I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight,” Tina was heard saying. ”My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me.”

But when it was discovered that PBS had played nanny the viewers were steamed. Now the venerable channel is in ‘Damage control’ mode;

“It was not a political decision,” claimed Peter Kaminsky, one of the show’s producers. “We had zero problems with anything she said.”

He claims the show ran about 20-minutes too long, so they went in with the shears.

“We took a lot out,” he continued, in a clear bid to duck the blame. “We snipped from everyone.”

This isn’t even the first time PBS has cut a recipient’s comments. George Carlin won the award in 2008, but died four days before the ceremony. The ‘Twain’ bosses played a video of his ‘Seven Dirty Words’ routine in tribute – and PBS promptly bleeped most of it out.

So PBS claims it was just done to keep the program short enough for their schedule. Do you think they were right to cut Tina’s remark or was this the political censorship it so clearly resembles?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Tina Fey’s review of Sarah Palin snipped by PBS

Jon Liebman, of Brillstein Entertainment Partners, who work with Brad on his projects, says Brad’s production company ‘Plan B’ has “expressed potential interest in the story.”

“Like so many people worldwide, Plan B has been incredibly moved by the story of the Chilean miners and their families,” Jon tells People.

And Brad’s not playing games – Edgardo Reinos Lundstedt, a lawyer who works with the miners, recently told the Chilean newspaper ‘El Mercurio’ that people at ‘Plan B’ had made his clients an offer ‘in the millions.’

But don’t get the popcorn just yet – Liebman was quick to point out that “There have not been any serious discussions.”

But if Brad does make the film it should be good – Plan B also made the Daniel Pearl drama, ‘A Mighty Heart’ [which co-starred Angelina Jolie,] ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife,’ with Eric Bana, and the unbounded glut of romantic treacle that was ‘Glee’ producer Ryan Murphy’s ‘Eat, Pray, Love,’ with Julia Roberts and James Franco.

Personally, I don’t think the miners could get their story told by anyone better. But do you think Brad is the right man for the job or should someone else, like perhaps Steven Spielberg make this film?…

Photo by: T. P. Shulz

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Brad Pitt planning film about Chilean miners

A group of scientists at Knome labs in Massachusetts tested the 61-year old rock-god’s DNA and found several genetic mutations that have let him survive substance abuse that would put any normal life-form on a mortuary slab.

“Some of them we’ve never seen before,” said Nathaniel Pearson, a geneticist who is part of the team.

But the news is not even vaguely surprising to America’s Got Talent judge and Ozzy’s wife of 28-years, Sharon Osbourne;

“I’ve always said that at the end of the world there will be roaches, Ozzy and Keith Richards,” she explained, laughing. “He’s going to outlive us all. That fascinated me – how can his body endure so much.”

Ozzy has a history of alcohol and drug use that boggles the mind; He once admitted to doing LSD every day for two years, and says he drank booze ‘like water.’ And the scientists say his mutations are largely why he endured all that and survived.

“He has a tendency for alcohol dependency that’s around six times higher,” says Knome co-founder Jorge Conde. “He also has an increased risk for cocaine addiction. If anyone else had done as much as he has, they’d have been hooked. Or dead.”

Ozzy also has twice the risk of hallucinations if he smokes pot. But he calmly admits he mixed so many drugs, he didn’t even know if pot was the cause. And the study truly amused him;

“I was curious,” he admits. “Given the swimming pools of booze I’ve guzzled, not to mention all the cocaine, morphine, pills, LSD,…you name it – there’s really no plausible reason why I’m alive,” he told a British newspaper recently.

But it’s not all good news; Ozzy now suffers from a constant tremor similar to Parkinson’s disease, and his hearing is almost gone. But whether these were caused by the drugs the doctors can’t tell…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Ozzy Osbourne ‘a mutant’ claim Knome researchers

The 45-year old actor says reports of him binging on cocaine and booze while entertaining a hooker in Room 1832 are wild exaggeration, or pure invention.

“Oh man, I’m fine,” he told Radar by text message. “The story is totally overblown and overplayed.”

But the good folks at the NYPD say Charlie seemed “intoxicated,” and was given the choice of hospital or arrest…But he wasn’t arrested.

After a brief stay at New York’s Presbyterian Hospital for ‘Psychiatric evaluation’ Charlie flew back to LA on Tuesday night, and he’s determined no details of Monday’s events will be discussed.

So here is a case that involves prostitution, criminal damage [repairs to the room will cost $7,000] and visible proof of the use of cocaine…Yet NYPD Spokesman, Paul Browne says Charlie is not expected to face any charges.

And therein lies the problem – Just like Lindsay Lohan, Charlie has a ‘name,’ and that seems to mean he can do as he likes and the PD won’t touch him. And nor will the courts.

But the buzz from this latest relapse will probably boost ratings — which his reps will then use to get even more money for another unwelcome season of that unfunny show. And so it goes on,…until he’s found limp and unresponsive in the Waldorf on the eve of his 50th birthday.

We all mourn the loss of celebrities who died from using drugs, yet the people responsible for those who are living and the laws that surround them stand by and do nothing while these stars indulge their addictions and risk the same grisly and untimely end.

Celebrities who are addicts can either face equal justice or early death, and it’s long past time those who enforce legislation made up their minds…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Charlie Sheen needs real justice, not rehab

Obtained by TMZ, the divorce papers cite “irreconcilable differences” as the actual cause of the break-up. But the couple, who married in 2005, have a prenup – and the divorce petition asks that it be acknowledged, requesting that;

“Earnings and accumulations of Aguilera before marriage, during marriage and from and after the date of separation” be considered separate property.

….So Jordan would get nothing.

The petition also seeks to terminate any rights Jordan might have to secure spousal or child support from his forthcoming ex-wife.

So she wants to deny him the exact same redress and financial support she and her ambulance-chasing lawyer would make sure she got if the roles were reversed.

Sources close to the couple say the marriage collapsed because Jordan discovered his wife had been cheating. Reps for Christina refused to comment, but if it’s true the divorce is her fault. But she will still almost certainly keep all the cash her divorce suit would be attempting to grab if he was the adulterer and/or the star.

This is nauseating. For forty years women have whined and complained they can earn their own living and pay their own way. At the same time they’ve allowed alimony to endure without limitation or the slightest attempt at repeal.

But now the same law they’ve supported and dined on for four unbroken decades might make one of them poor, she tries to hide behind a prenup so she won’t have to pay.

No woman reading this will see one thing wrong with that. And therein lies my point…

Photo by: Raffaele

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Christina Aguilera caught in hypocritical split

[The Limey] – The history of music has been blessed with many whose vocal dexterity could hold an audience spellbound, and thanks to America’s Got Talent a new name can be added to that lustrous list – Jackie Evancho.

For Tuesday’s show all the contestants had to submit their auditions by You Tube. One such video came from ten-year old Jackie – and she has the potential to redefine song.

Born in Pittsburgh, PA, the tiny starlet appeared on stage with her long blond hair accenting a dress which gave no clue of the wonders within. The orchestra then formed the opening bars of “O mio babbino caro,” a dramatic aria from Puccini’s 1918 opera ‘Gianni Schicchi.’

And from her small frame came a quite magical sound.

Blending the upper-register trills of the divine Lesley Garrett with the velvet-smooth mid-range that has made Kiri Te Kanawa the rightful focus of worship, Jackie gave a performance of such melodic perfection it left the audience in raptures and the judges all stunned.

“All we wanted was to find that one moment; that one gem,” gushed Howie Mandel. “And you know what? This is the moment; You’re the star.”

Piers Morgan was also left fumbling for words;

“That is one of the most extraordinary performances I’ve ever seen,” he beamed at the dimple-cheeked prima donna.

And Sharon seemed equally floored, “I can’t believe that voice came out of your tiny body,” she said, clearly moved.

The audition ended with Jackie in tears and the audience in full-throated wonder. Watch the video and see how you feel…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Jackie Evancho wows on America’s Got Talent

Crystal, it seems, was in the process of quitting the show when Ryan did some fast talking and made the wannabe star change her mind.

Crystal told Ryan she couldn’t handle the pressure, hated all the attention and was going back to her family in Ohio, as being away for so long was making her miserable.

Ryan, 35, quickly explained that being on ‘Idol’ was like starting a business, and that if she was successful she’d get a recording contract and could become really rich.

“The greatest thing I ever did was make enough money to buy my Mom a house. You can buy your Mom a house,” he told the sad-faced chanteuse.

And that changed her mind…or so the Herald claims.

Personally I don’t buy this for a second. First, why would someone who ‘hated’ attention deliberately audition for a national TV show? And why would being told that success would make her rich through the mass application of the very element she claims to detest make someone with such an allergy reverse her decision and stay?

This kind of entirely unproven ‘drama’ boosts ratings, and as such it has Simon Cowell’s sticky, self-centered paw-marks all over it.

What do you think?…

Photo by: Jyle

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Did Ryan Seacrest save American Idol hopeful from quitting?

I’m talking about the seemingly unending swathe of mediocre performers who are so irreparably inept, yet driven by ego they engage in one risible, lamentable and inexcusable publicity stunt after another to achieve notoriety and unwarranted wealth by exploiting and insulting the very people they should regard as the single most important life-forms on this planet – the few blameless souls who even know they’re alive: Their fans.

We need a list which, once one of these dim-bulbs is rightfully placed on it, renders them effectively invisible to all modern media. No interviews, no gossip, no exposure at all – no matter what slick yet desperate stunt they might try to provoke it.

After a short time of such treatment it’s my belief those who face this position will either develop some definable talent – at last – or quit ‘showbiz’ altogether and seek out a job they can actually do; Thus freeing both the media’s time and the public’s attention to focus on those comparatively rare beings who possess both a talent and the willingness to work and thereby deserve the reward.

I’ll start the list:–

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tila Tequila, Heidi Montag [and her hamster-haired cohort,] Madonna, Jon Gosselin and Jennifer Aniston.

If you can think of others – and there are dozens – add them as comments and let’s get that list made, then we’ll all get some peace…

Photo by Viv

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Hollywood needs a new blacklist