Ryan, 36, has been dating ‘Dancing with the Stars’ performer Julianne Hough for less than a year, but people close to the pair say he’s ready to make it official and has an impressive ring ready in case she accepts;

“Ryan already has the ring – and it’s a rock: Four to five carats,” HMG quotes one source as saying. “He’s had it for a while and is planning the engagement. It’s going to happen in the next few months.”

So why not tell us then – when it actually happened? Simple – because the new season of American Idol starts on January 19th and leaking this story now will get lots of free press…And more ratings.

Asked to confirm these transparent rumors, another source even tried to play it coy;

“If Ryan was planning to propose, why would I spoil the surprise?” they mused. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this over a girl before; they fit perfectly.”

I say this whole tale is yet another patronizing, insulting publicity stunt orchestrated by Simon Cowell, then spoon-fed to the media just before the new season to make more people watch so he and his egocentric associates can make far more money.

What do you think?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

American Idol insults viewers with Ryan Seacrest rumors

On Sunday’s edition of the award-winning show a Fox News helicopter is seen carrying a banner that reads “Fox News: Not Racists, But #1 With Racists!” It deposits a Fox executive on the Statue of Liberty, then goes into a tailspin on take-off and crashes, causing this remark from the pilot;

“It’s not fair, we’re unbalanced!”

The executive then holds a secret meeting in which he and several fellow network bosses plot to spread news of a fake health care scare to increase their ratings, and thus make even more money.

The snag is ‘The Simpsons’ is aired by Fox’s broadcast network, and Rupert Murdoch’s ‘News Corp’ owns both them and Fox News. And that seems to have rather upset little Billo;

“Continuing to bite the hand that feeds part of it, Fox broadcasting once again allows its cartoon characters to run wild,” O’Reilly complained on yesterday’s show. “Pinheads? I believe so,” he sneered.

This man couldn’t find his own butt with Google Earth and a TSA screening. He’s now attacking cartoons for being politically biased.

If you watch the show or can even abide dear little Bill, what’s your response to his latest outburst?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Bill O’Reilly blasts the Simpsons for political bias

But of all the clues to be gathered from this glitzy debacle, two stand out above all: Having an original story helps to win the gold man, while beating your audience over the head with disingenuous, self-serving hype demonstrably does not.

Both prior to and since its debut on December 18,  Fox and James Cameron have engaged in a sickening, endless and often clandestine campaign of hype for their $237-million curio, desperately trying to maximize their box-office profits and win the gold man.

And they failed.

Only the art directors, the cinematographer and the geniuses at Wikka Digital with their TRS-80′s took home a prize. James and his tired, plodding and derivative story were rightfully left empty handed.

And the moral of this story is far clearer than the plot of that film; To be successful you need to actually be good at your job. Inept mediocrity inflated by hype does not make a star, or ensure true success.

Many ‘celebrities’ would do well to take notes.

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

James Cameron’s Avatar deserved Oscar snub

The 36-year old New Yorker will now join Robert Rodriguez’ upcoming retread of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 1987 jungle-based romp, which Rodriguez is now writing along with some friends.

‘That 70′s Show’s Topher Grace is also debating getting involved, and if the price gets worked out he’ll join Alice Braga, ‘The Shield’s Walt Goggins, Oleg Taktarov, the UFC star, and one of Rob’s favorite actors [and his second cousin,] Danny Trejo.

This time around – who knows how many more there will be?? – the story concerns a group of elite warriors who become unwilling prey to a swarm of alien trackers called Predators. Adrien is the leader, who has a strong rep as a hunter of men. Topher, meanwhile, plays a placid bean-counter, inside of whom lurks a serial killer. Braga – last seen in ‘I Am Legend’ – is a cold-hearted assassin, Goggins will play a radical type and Taktarov will be a Russian Special Ops expert.

And in what sounds like the most fun role of all, 64-year old Trejo will be a merciless warrior who roams the world with two loaded Uzis strapped on his back.

Shooting is penciled-in for Hawaii next month, with interiors, effects shots and green-screening booked to be done at Rodriguez’ ‘Troublemaker Studios’ in Texas. The finished movie is slated to bow on July 9th, 2010.

Photo by Mecredis

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Adrien Brody to lead Predator reboot

First released in March of 1989 by Columbia Pictures the ‘crime-drama-romance,’ to quote its PR, gave Christian Slater and Winona Ryder their major film breaks. Now, twenty years of cobwebs have been blown off the story, and Fox’s finest brains [yes, both of them] are hard at work on a reboot.

“We had the title, and talked about doing a film remake,” Gary Lucchesi, president of Lakeshore, who own the film’s rights told Variety. “But doing it for TV seemed like a fresh and original idea.”

The fresh and original movie told the rather curious story of Veronica, who really wants to be part of the “in crowd” at her school. But the girls who are part of this exclusive clique – who are all strangely named Heather – snub her and make her feel cheap. Then the High School’s head hunk, J.D. [Slater] shows her a neat way to climb the School’s social ladder – Together, they kill all the Heathers.

While recycled TV is never truly successful, one upbeat note is that among the Producers is Jenny Bicks, whose credits include ‘Sex and the City’ and ‘Men in Trees.’ So the pedigree seems pretty good.

But let’s face the facts; Most TV execs wouldn’t know an original idea if it gave them its card; Second, ‘fresh and original’ ideas don’t mean just remaking a film. And making a TV show from a movie is not original anyway – have these chowder-heads not heard of ‘MASH’ ??

No date is available for the new show’s debut as the scripts and casting have yet to be done. There is no mention of Slater or Ryder as part of the cast, but that may well change as production goes on. Then, maybe, people will watch…

Picture by Tricky

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Fox bows plans to grow recycled Heather

Born in New York in 1974, Jerry landed his big break devouring cookies in a ‘Duncan Hines’ ad. From there he moved on to roles in movies like Scream II and Jerry Maguire, plus TV work such as Sliders, Samantha Who, Las Vegas and Crossing Jordan. But his next starring role will be as a student at LA’s  Southwestern Law School.

“He is very excited to be starting his law school education here,” Leslie Steinberg, Southwestern’s Assistant Dean of Public Affairs told Access. “He had orientation last week and started classes this week.”

Married since 2007 to ‘Ugly Betty’ cast regular, Rebecca Romijn, Jerry now has to juggle those classes to fit the demands of being a dad – he and Rebecca welcomed twin girls, Dolly Rebecca and Charlie Tulip back in January.
But Ms. Steinberg says Jerry should be a good student and seems ready to play, “I think he already felt like one of the students at orientation and he’s really diving in.”

Personally, I think this is a laudible move – His career was no longer a challenge, so Jerry decides to step off the stage and leave more room, and thus far more chances, for upcoming actors. There are countless others  in this business with careers more high-profile – and far less deserved – than Mr. O’Connell’s who would be well advised to follow his lead.

Photo by: Kristin

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Jerry O’Connell swaps TV for law

After the global success of the ‘Star Wars’ reboot, Fox are now working on a prequel to ‘Alien,’ the 1979 Oscar-winning tale that launched Sigourney Weaver’s career…and global insomnia. And Ridley Scott – the original’s director – has agreed to take back the helm.

Unknown writer Jon Spaihts pitched the re-tread to Fox and now has the less than enviable task of crafting the prequel, which according to Variety will once more concern the crew of the freighter, Nostromo. Awakened from interstellar slumber to respond to an automatic distress call the sleep-addled team misread the signal, and land in a whole world of trouble.

Three [awful] sequels were made to cash-in on the box-office bounty of the original film [now widely and rightly regarded as one of the best horror/suspense movies ever made,] but this is the first time that Ridley’s consented to be back in charge.

No production dates or casting details are available yet, but with Ridley on board the wait is worthwhile.

Photo: Alan Light

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Alien prequel gets Fox’s green light

The 32-year old Vancouver-born star of X-Men is said to be eager to put his skills to the test, and has now agreed to make a new Indie film simply called, ‘Buried.’ In it, Ryan plays a civilian contractor based in Iraq, who is kidnapped by unknown assailants and rendered unconscious. When he recovers, he finds himself encased in a coffin, with just a cellphone, a candle, a knife…and that’s all.

Oh, and just to mix in some stress – he’s in uncharted desert

The movie is Ryan’s first foray into independent productions and will be shot entirely at locations in Spain. No release date has been floated as yet, but production begins in Barcelona next month.

Source: Variety

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Ryan Reynolds to co-star with a coffin

The movie, which cost Fox a mere $14-million to make has so far earned them $326-million and eight Oscars. Yet two of the stars – already surviving in homes made of canvas – have lost even that after bulldozers trashed them to build a rail station.

Nine-year old Rubina Ali [she played 'Latika',] and 10-year old, Azharuddin Ismali [the young Salim,] were reportedly in tears as a wrecking crew recently leveled their plastic-sheet ‘homes’ to begin the construction. “I have seen their homes being knocked down and that upset me a great deal.” says Danny Boyle, the movie’s director. “But it’s only now that the trust has been able to enact a workable plan.”

The ‘Jai Ho’ trust Danny mentioned pays the two stars a risible pittance. And Fox even announced they were “proud” of the treatment these actors received; “For 30 days work they were paid three times the annual salary,” a spokesman for Fox Searchlight told the press.

Anil Kapoor [game-show host, 'Prem Kumar',] donated his fee to help children in the Indian town of Mumbai, where the movie is set. But Fox have done almost nothing but talk. Ali and Ismali were flown to the US to be displayed at the Oscars, whisked around Disneyland, then sent right back to India to starve in a tent. And now even that is no more.

After international outrage at this cold-hearted treatment, and the dogged persistence of Mr. Boyle, an apartment has just been secured for each of the stars – so they finally have a real home. Danny also donated $745,000 to a charity that helps thousands of children just like them, who suffer similar hardship all over India.

Is it possible at least someone working at Fox has a heart??

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Slumdog debacle shows Fox’s true colours…

The London-born star, 43, was accompanied by his daughter, Sarah Jude, and was reported to be drinking Scotch on the rocks, while conversing with staff.

…So here’s my question — Why is this even a story??

The man is having a quiet drink in a public bar with his own daughter – who’s over 21 – bothering no-one, and chatting amiably with the staff.

A lot of stars complain about press intrusion, and given invasive, pointless fluff pieces like this, it’s not hard to agree.

Just how desperate are the NY Post for a story?

Photo by KnuckleDragger

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Kiefer Sutherland stalked by NY Post?

The Dollhouse producers expect DVD sales to be brisk and are enjoying strong overseas sales, according to a report on Fox News…which is owned by News Corp.

They also said the series did big business on Hulu…which is co-owned by News Corp.

…Is it just me, or do you see a pattern?

Fox, in all its various forms, is a repugnant disease. If they can re-up Dollhouse, force intellectual spray-cheese like “Sit Down, Shut Up,” on an innocent world and present laughably biased, flagrantly self-serving reporting as ‘news’, what else could we soon be expected to suffer?

And this is the cranial fluff we’re all supposed to get excited about seeing in Hi-Def. Retailers offer tv deals like we’re scheduled to witness the second coming itself – but this is what will be on.

Keith Olbermann makes fun of the man behind all this pitiful fare, skilfully mocking him as a drool-speckled Pirate. For now, it’s a joke. But if his target’s voracious appetite to acquire and control is not suppressed firmly – and quick – the joke may soon be on us.

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Dollhouse may well be our future

In her NY Post column, Maureen Callahan has expressed her concerns about Ms. Boyle’s sudden rise, and frankly I agree with her reasons. Like American Idol, “Britain’s Got Talent” is run as his personal fiefdom by Simon Cowell, and I wouldn’t trust that man to tell me the time.

Before I have trouble opening my inbox because of the hate-mail this might inspire, let me make it quite clear — I place not one shred of doubt or dissent at the feet of Ms. Boyle. She looks like a wonderful lady, and her voice – unlike so many ‘stars’ – is real, and actually hers.

What I can’t accept is the timing:

This charming but total unknown enters a contest whose ultimate prize is to sing for the Queen. After two or three rounds she is tapped as the winner and sings for Her Majesty, in front of an audience fifty times larger than the show ever gets. The world is enraptured and the demand for CD’s becomes almost a roar; With a recording contract [on Mr. Cowell's label] as part of her prize, the nice lady obliges, releasing her debut just before Christmas, whereby it promptly sells in the millions all over the world.

….and this slick fairy-tale makes Simon Cowell even richer.

The man just lost millions in some Real Estate deals that went sour. Were this a plot, it would replace all that money and make him look like a beneficent hero. And that fake, bonded smile proves that’s just what he likes.

I hope Ms. Boyle becomes a big star. She deserves it. But she does not deserve to be Mr. Cowell’s plaything. And as I see it, that’s exactly the plan.

Am I alone, or would anyone care to agree?

Photo by Mulad

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Susan Boyle deserves a real chance