The Loquacious Limey

[The Limey] – By now you’ve endured every attention-gaining excuse Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag can make up for their ’split.’ But the real reason for this latest infantile play for attention is simple – these two dim-bulbs just ran out of cash.
It’s well known that Spencer, 26, serves as the ‘brains’ of the outfit, [...]

[The Limey] – In what you can expect to be merely the latest in a long line of teases and ‘leaks’ on her condition it’s now being claimed that Mariah Carey and husband, Nick Cannon are preparing for twins.
The adolescent campaign of teases and self-serving denials began when Mariah, 41, was spied at the ‘Southern [...]

[The Limey] – In a disputed piece that is almost certainly more MTV hype it’s being reported that the entire cast of that peerless example of brainless inbreeding, ‘Jersey Shore’ are due to be axed and replaced before season three.
Somebody up there likes me!
Pop Eater says the repugnant collection of talentless half-wits that comprises the [...]

[The Limey] – So, after what feels like six moths of endless, relentless and immeasurably pointless hype and self-serving marketing, the great Betty White / SNL spectacular is finally done.
Now we can suppose NBC will spend the next six months telling us how smart, funny and bitingly relevant the show still is – which is [...]

[The Limey] – In between being every B-list celebrity’s favorite agony aunt on his KIIS-FM radio show, Ryan Seacrest also finds time to front American Idol, and he’s now being praised for saving one contestant, Crystal Bowersox from losing her chance at the prize.
Crystal, it seems, was in the process of quitting the show when [...]

[The Limey] So the music has faded, the red carpet’s rolled up and the whole endless ego-fest is over for a year. Or at least, until James Cameron demands a recount.
But of all the clues to be gathered from this glitzy debacle, two stand out above all: Having an original story helps to win the [...]

[The Limey] – On Monday every D-list starlet’s favorite outlet for self-serving stories, those ubiquitous ‘friends’ spoon-fed a laughably transparent tale to the down-market tabloids that Lindsay Lohan was engaging in ‘knife play’ and ‘cutting herself’ from despair.
The resulting attention then gave Ms. Lohan the chance to ‘graciously’ speak to the media directly, firmly denying [...]

With a sense of respect that’s as weak as his acting, Charlie Sheen has announced that the US Government itself was behind 9/11.
The New York-born actor, who turned 44 on September 3rd, has just released a fictional transcript in which he ‘interviews’ President Obama and asks him to re-open the 9/11 case.
“The official 9/11 story [...]

With Hollywood now clearly devoid of ideas it should come as little surprise that yet another desperate, cash-grabbing sequel is coming your way.
Having grossed $414+ million with ‘Bad Boys’ 1 and 2, the explosion-packed antics of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence as two Miami detectives with a worrying fetish for standing totally still while Michael [...]

After the self-induced hype of her ‘Playboy’ appearance was met with the universal indifference it so richly deserved, Heidi Montag is now claiming the risible showing was simply her way to please both her fans;
“Always leave them asking for more,” she explained to Ryan Seacrest on his ‘KIIS-FM’ radio show yesterday. “Next time, I’ll have [...]