The Loquacious Limey » hype

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag ’split’ caused by greed

thelimey — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:15:23 +0000

[The Limey] – By now you’ve endured every attention-gaining excuse Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag can make up for their ’split.’ But the real reason for this latest infantile play for attention is simple – these two dim-bulbs just ran out of cash.

It’s well known that Spencer, 26, serves as the ‘brains’ of the outfit, guiding both their so-called careers to new heights of public indifference in an ongoing quest to be famous while doing no work. Now ‘friends’ say this is flawed by an utter lack of restraint over money.

“He’d give me $100 just to take his trash out,” one source tells Radar. “He has about $100,000 in cars just sitting in the drive; There’s a Porsche Cayenne SUV [that's $58,000,] a ‘68 Camaro [$30,000+ for a nice one] and a lifted truck he bought for $26,000.”

And further frivolous spending [like Heidi's $400,000 upgrade to pure Tupperware] allegedly put this vapid pair in a nose-dive: According to very convenient ’sources’ the couple’s bank account was drained down to pennies by the end of last season’s ‘The Hills.’

“They were definitely in the hole,” says the snitch. “Their business manager was calling the house every day. They were both tripping because of the funds.”

Then ‘The Hills’ was canceled and ‘Speidi’ were suddenly faced by the blood-chilling prospect of getting a job.

And then came the news of the ’split.’

And if you didn’t see a connection they’d be totally thrilled.

There’s an old saying – ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”…To which we can add in this case, ‘Try to fool me every single time you open your mouth and don’t be surprised if we no longer care!”

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag ’split’ caused by greed

Mariah Carey proves she’s just one more diva

thelimey — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:44:23 +0000

[The Limey] – In what you can expect to be merely the latest in a long line of teases and ‘leaks’ on her condition it’s now being claimed that Mariah Carey and husband, Nick Cannon are preparing for twins.

The adolescent campaign of teases and self-serving denials began when Mariah, 41, was spied at the ‘Southern California Reproductive Center’ in Beverly Hills – which is a top-rated fertility clinic.

That was on Mother’s Day. Now it seems the treatments she was so coy about getting have resulted in twins.

“Mariah is gushing that she’s going to have twins.” a source tells the Enquirer. “Mariah and Nick both want a big family.”

Now, bearing in mind it took MC and Nick almost two months to stop this infantile teasing and tell fans the truth, the next part of this shameful PR campaign is tackier still:

“If & when my wife is ready to make any announcements about private matters she will do it personally,” Nick sneered via Twitter on Wednesday. “Thanks for being respectful.”

Respectful?? How about showing one grain of ‘respect’ for the people who have paid for every single thing you and your ungrateful, game-playing spouse have eaten, drunk, worn, lived in or touched for two years at least;

Your fans don’t deserve to be played with like this, therefore neither you nor your wife deserve fans.

Photo by: David

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Mariah Carey proves she’s just one more diva

MTV reportedly fires Jersey Shore cast over greed

thelimey — Tue, 11 May 2010 20:42:47 +0000

[The Limey] – In a disputed piece that is almost certainly more MTV hype it’s being reported that the entire cast of that peerless example of brainless inbreeding, ‘Jersey Shore’ are due to be axed and replaced before season three.

Somebody up there likes me!

Pop Eater says the repugnant collection of talentless half-wits that comprises the cast demanded $10,000-a-show each to make season two. And once season three was discussed they wanted even more.

MTV [allegedly] refused.

Season two starts on July 29, and the odds that this is merely hype to lure even more people into subjecting themselves to one of the most offensive examples of mental-floss television are depressingly high.

But if the story is true, it proves even MTV has the IQ to reject the demands of arrogant, greed-driven imbeciles.

The claims of mass firing are so far unconfirmed, so watch this space and I’ll let you know if this story survives…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

MTV reportedly fires Jersey Shore cast over greed

Betty White doubles SNL ratings, both new viewers amused

thelimey — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:53:44 +0000

[The Limey] – So, after what feels like six moths of endless, relentless and immeasurably pointless hype and self-serving marketing, the great Betty White / SNL spectacular is finally done.

Now we can suppose NBC will spend the next six months telling us how smart, funny and bitingly relevant the show still is – which is a lie – and how those who don’t watch it clearly need help. But let’s get one thing clear up-front:

If an 88-year old can give teen-focused SNL its best ratings in two years, that only proves what a tired, humorless, self-absorbed corpse the show has become.

For me, it’s a fail. I’m just glad this incessant and patronizing NBC-driven PR stunt is over.

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Betty White doubles SNL ratings, both new viewers amused

Did Ryan Seacrest save American Idol hopeful from quitting?

thelimey — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 20:47:04 +0000

[The Limey] – In between being every B-list celebrity’s favorite agony aunt on his KIIS-FM radio show, Ryan Seacrest also finds time to front American Idol, and he’s now being praised for saving one contestant, Crystal Bowersox from losing her chance at the prize.

Crystal, it seems, was in the process of quitting the show when Ryan did some fast talking and made the wannabe star change her mind.

Crystal told Ryan she couldn’t handle the pressure, hated all the attention and was going back to her family in Ohio, as being away for so long was making her miserable.

Ryan, 35, quickly explained that being on ‘Idol’ was like starting a business, and that if she was successful she’d get a recording contract and could become really rich.

“The greatest thing I ever did was make enough money to buy my Mom a house. You can buy your Mom a house,” he told the sad-faced chanteuse.

And that changed her mind…or so the Herald claims.

Personally I don’t buy this for a second. First, why would someone who ‘hated’ attention deliberately audition for a national TV show? And why would being told that success would make her rich through the mass application of the very element she claims to detest make someone with such an allergy reverse her decision and stay?

This kind of entirely unproven ‘drama’ boosts ratings, and as such it has Simon Cowell’s sticky, self-centered paw-marks all over it.

What do you think?…

Photo by: Jyle

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Did Ryan Seacrest save American Idol hopeful from quitting?

James Cameron’s Avatar deserved Oscar snub

thelimey — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:34:15 +0000

[The Limey] So the music has faded, the red carpet’s rolled up and the whole endless ego-fest is over for a year. Or at least, until James Cameron demands a recount.

But of all the clues to be gathered from this glitzy debacle, two stand out above all: Having an original story helps to win the gold man, while beating your audience over the head with disingenuous, self-serving hype demonstrably does not.

Both prior to and since its debut on December 18, Fox and James Cameron have engaged in a sickening, endless and often clandestine campaign of hype for their $237-million curio, desperately trying to maximize their box-office profits and win the gold man.

And they failed.

Only the art directors, the cinematographer and the geniuses at Wikka Digital with their TRS-80’s took home a prize. James and his tired, plodding and derivative story were rightfully left empty handed.

And the moral of this story is far clearer than the plot of that film; To be successful you need to actually be good at your job. Inept mediocrity inflated by hype does not make a star, or ensure true success.

Many ‘celebrities’ would do well to take notes.

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

James Cameron’s Avatar deserved Oscar snub

Lindsay Lohan’s ‘fame’ continues to fade…

thelimey — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 05:34:58 +0000

[The Limey] – On Monday every D-list starlet’s favorite outlet for self-serving stories, those ubiquitous ‘friends’ spoon-fed a laughably transparent tale to the down-market tabloids that Lindsay Lohan was engaging in ‘knife play’ and ‘cutting herself’ from despair.

The resulting attention then gave Ms. Lohan the chance to ‘graciously’ speak to the media directly, firmly denying she’d done any such thing.

Result? 3-4 days of cost-free, worldwide attention, without one iota of talent or work being required.

Replace Lohan with the ’star’ of your choice and you get the same result:

Day 1) ‘Leak’ a dumb story to the low-rent media
Day 2) Bathe in attention
Day 3) Release a statement denying dumb story
Day 4) Get more attention
Day 5) Make up another dumb story…

…Then just wash, rinse and repeat until your career is so fried they find you lifeless in the bathroom, surrounded by pills.

One day Lindsay will use the ‘knife play’ trick again [or something like it,] and get all the attention even an ego on her scale could wish for.

Posthumously.

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Lindsay Lohan’s ‘fame’ continues to fade…

Charlie Sheen declares 9/11 a fraud

thelimey — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 20:51:35 +0000

With a sense of respect that’s as weak as his acting, Charlie Sheen has announced that the US Government itself was behind 9/11.

The New York-born actor, who turned 44 on September 3rd, has just released a fictional transcript in which he ‘interviews’ President Obama and asks him to re-open the 9/11 case.

“The official 9/11 story is a fraud,” says the ‘Two and a Half Men’ star, who earns $850,000 a week from that long-stale show.

According to Mr. Sheen’s most pressing delusions, the attack on the Towers was ‘used as an excuse to disregard the Constitution and the Bill of Rights,’ and the 9/11 Commission was an implausible sham.

The real meat of this rambling and frequently self-serving piece [it takes just takes four lines of the 'interview' for Mr. Sheen's fake President to confess he's a fan,] which you can read here, boils down to these points:

The US Government was directly behind the 9/11 attacks
The 9/11 Commissioners were not told the truth, and thus don’t know what happened
The Pentagon and Bush administration either changed or hid all vital facts
The US Government was actually cooperating with Osama Bin Laden until the big day
The Obama administration still follows illegal Bush-era practices and don’t realize why

Although most of these allegations have been simmering in the cauldron of internet conspiracy-theorists since 2001, Mr. Sheen has summoned a firestorm, not merely because of how dosed-up he sounds, but due even more to his crass, tasteless choice of when to put such groundless psychosis in print.

To further his case, the Golden Globe-winning actor has now appealed to the current President – in a video you can see here – to meet for debate and invoke a new inquiry so we can all know the truth.

Mr Obama has yet to respond, but feel free to leave us your views…

Photo: Ultimate Graphics

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Charlie Sheen declares 9/11 a fraud

Will Smith returning for Bad Boys III?

thelimey — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:15:41 +0000

With Hollywood now clearly devoid of ideas it should come as little surprise that yet another desperate, cash-grabbing sequel is coming your way.

Having grossed $414+ million with ‘Bad Boys’ 1 and 2, the explosion-packed antics of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence as two Miami detectives with a worrying fetish for standing totally still while Michael Bay’s loving camera revolves around them in jaw-cracking slow-mo, Columbia Pictures now want this highly bankable trio to do it again.

The franchise’s 1995 first outing was Bay’s directorial debut, and paired Smith [in his first film role since 'Fresh Prince,'] with the more laid-back Lawrence. The result grossed over $141-million worldwide. 2003’s inevitable sequel saw both Bay and Smith now full-fledged as stars, and hauled in $273-million just on its own.

So now, of course, their bosses want more.

Due to be written by Peter Craig – who wrote ‘The Town,’ which Ben Affleck is now directing in Massachusetts – according to the Hollywood Reporter, everyone involved in the two previous outings is keen to return. But no-one’s signed up yet, so don’t make big plans.

Photo by Decora

Heidi Montag defends Playboy sham

thelimey — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:18:30 +0000

After the self-induced hype of her ‘Playboy’ appearance was met with the universal indifference it so richly deserved, Heidi Montag is now claiming the risible showing was simply her way to please both her fans;

“Always leave them asking for more,” she explained to Ryan Seacrest on his ‘KIIS-FM’ radio show yesterday. “Next time, I’ll have more to reveal.”

According to Us magazine, Ms. Montag, 22, also said she ‘had fun’ stripping off for the set, and that although some of the photos may be regarded as racy by any man who has lived alone in a basement for, maybe, ten years, she didn’t feel she’d compromised her beliefs, “I feel God created the body and it’s beautiful,” she simpered at Ryan. “God created us naked, so I am not ashamed of it. I’m proud of it… This was such a blessed experience.”

So, she’s so proud of the body with which the good Lord endowed her, she added ten pounds of plastic and a gallon of bleach just to polish things up, we assume?

Interesting outlook.

Photo by: CrazyFoolish

Lost producers drop hints for ComicCon fans

thelimey — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:48:16 +0000

After five years, 48 awards and 147 nominations, ‘Lost’ is finally reaching the end. And a lucky few of the millions transfixed in its spell got to hear news of that ending from the makers themselves.

Over the weekend at San Diego’s ‘ComicCon’ soiree, some of the show’s more geek-friendly fans heard producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, plus a few of the cast drop subtle hints on what’s coming next.

“There’s a good chance you’ll be seeing many characters you haven’t seen since season one,” said Lindelof. Among them would appear to be Juliet Burke and Daniel Faraday, plus several others the producers won’t name.

And that’s not all the producers seem to have up their sleeves, “In the first season, characters were running around and there was the emotional discovery about them,” said Cuse. “We have a way to do that again in the final season.” he told the fans during a well-produced presentation on the ABC show.

The final season will also feature a new form of narrative to keep fans up to date with the drama. “But folks shouldn’t think this will invalidate everything that’s already happened,” said Jorge Garcia, who plays Hugo. “That would be a really big cheat.”

Fans – some of whom had camped-out on the street for 24-hours just for this chance – were eager to know what to expect from the show’s final swansong, but the suits were not saying; “The time-travel is over, the flash-forward is over,” Lindelof said. “We’re going to do something different. And everything that matters, we’re gonna answer.”

ABC says that ‘Lost’s final season will bow ‘early in 2010,’ If you’re a big fan, you might need to make time…

Source: THR

ABC sued for ‘Lost’ royalties

thelimey — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:38:39 +0000

A struggling TV producer, whose credits include Baretta, The Man from Uncle and a whole list of old shows you would never have heard of is now suing both ABC and Touchstone Television, claiming he was the source of one of their biggest hits – Lost.

Anthony Spinner, 79, claims he was paid $30,000 by ABC in 1977, to create a pilot for what grew into ‘Lost.’ The result was so poor it was rejected. Three times. Most recently in 1994. Ten years later, ABC created what he now claims is a plagiarized replica – and Spinner now wants a cut of the bank.

A comparison of the two shows does turn up some matches – Mr. Spinner’s version featured a plane bound for L.A, which crashes on a jungle-like island, and the survivors then recall and revisit their previous lives through ongoing flashbacks. There’s a Doctor, a military type, a drug addict [like Charlie,] a token minority character [Sayid?] a female lead with a criminal record, and even a love-triangle sub-plot.

Given such wide similarity, why, you might ask, did this man wait five years to do anything? According to the plaintiff, he did try to sue back in 2005 – but that suit was denied for ‘procedural reasons.’

Now he wants a cut of the royalties, plus a share of the profits – and a fat check for ‘damages.’

But bear this in mind – Many people who have encountered this story believe it’s no more than a patronizing effort by Disney to gain free publicity – and thus better ratings – for the show’s final season this year.

If you know the show, you make the call.

Source: PRI