This is pure spite by the network for his win in November. It is also both deeply unfair and unprovoked.

I say this was not resignation it was assisted suicide; enabled by a spineless and ungrateful assemblage of unimaginative, infertile drones eager to please and placate their new owners.

Comcast got clearance to absorb the network on Thursday and in 24-hours one of its most popular hosts is no more.

Coincidence? You be the  judge.

This is a breaking story and details will undoubtedly emerge as the hours progress. I’ll update tomorrow when more becomes known. Meantime, let’s hear your views…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Keith Olbermann exits MSNBC…or was he pushed?

The photo is now plastered across every low-rent gossip blog you can find, but there’s no way to be sure it’s really her as the subject has no face. But the model has the same hair extensions, and Miley wore a similar shirt at the ‘MTV Europe Music Awards’ last month in Madrid on November 7th.

And that show was sixteen days before Cyrus turned 18. So if the picture is her [which I do not believe] it’s child porn.

The blogger who first published the photo claims Cyrus took it so she could text it to ex-boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth. But of course, there’s no proof of that. And critics say the blogger in question was in dire need of traffic. So defining his motive for the leak is not exactly a challenge.

The blogger also posted other pictures removed from the phone to aid his claim it really is Cyrus. There’s one of her wearing a similar shirt in public, one with a matching hairstyle and one that shows her wearing similar bracelets.

Then there were the “rumors” that Miley might pose for Playboy. These gained traction when Hugh Hefner told Fox that Cyrus “is the one” his readers would most like to see as a centerfold.

I say she started these rumors herself to get more free press and attention.

With no face there’s no way to prove the girl in the photo is Cyrus, so the only way we’ll find out is when her reps release their tediously predictable denial. And you can bet she will milk this for all the press she can get before that happens!

But what do you think – The photo is easy to find, so if you’ve seen it let’s hear your views. Is it porn, or just more lying, patronizing self-promotion?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Miley Cyrus ‘nude’ photo stunt leaves fans unmoved

Joining past recipients such as Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal and George Carlin, Tina accepted the ‘Mark Twain Prize for American Humor’ during the $1,000-a-plate dinner at New York’s Kennedy Center on November 9th.

And she couldn’t resist a few digs at the ‘unique’ political figure who helped make her a star.

“Politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women,” Fey told the crowd. “Except, of course, those who will end up paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win…Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner, or whatever.”

The crowd loved it. Then Tina floated the punchline;

“But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back – The whole thing’s a disaster.”

But when the show aired on PBS on Sunday, that’s not what was heard. The rape and evolution lines were gone, and only her blander remarks survived, such as;

“I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight,” Tina was heard saying. ”My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me.”

But when it was discovered that PBS had played nanny the viewers were steamed. Now the venerable channel is in ‘Damage control’ mode;

“It was not a political decision,” claimed Peter Kaminsky, one of the show’s producers. “We had zero problems with anything she said.”

He claims the show ran about 20-minutes too long, so they went in with the shears.

“We took a lot out,” he continued, in a clear bid to duck the blame. “We snipped from everyone.”

This isn’t even the first time PBS has cut a recipient’s comments. George Carlin won the award in 2008, but died four days before the ceremony. The ‘Twain’ bosses played a video of his ‘Seven Dirty Words’ routine in tribute – and PBS promptly bleeped most of it out.

So PBS claims it was just done to keep the program short enough for their schedule. Do you think they were right to cut Tina’s remark or was this the political censorship it so clearly resembles?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Tina Fey’s review of Sarah Palin snipped by PBS

Born in New York on March 25, 1925 the now 85-year old film buff has been a fixture of the ‘Today’ cast since 1970, and he announced his departure with typical brevity;

“It’s enough already!” THR quotes him as saying.

Starting as an occasional guest Gene became a regular part of ‘Today’ in 1973, and also found time to write for publications like ‘Ladies’ Home Journal,’ ‘Cosmo,’ ‘TV Guide,’ ‘Seventeen’ and the New York Times. He even delivered daily essays on life for NBC radio while doing all this – and wrote several books.

Tomorrow willl be Gene’s last appearance [barring re-runs] and the Today crew will mark his departure with a retrospective of his forty years in the job, including film reviews, celebrity interviews and his endless collection of puns.

But they might skip his ‘Brokeback Mountain’ review. When the movie opened in 2006 Gene tore it to shreds and called Jake Gyllenhaal’s character “a sexual predator.” saying he trapped Heath Ledger’s character into ‘sexual  trysts.’

The people at GLAAD had a fit. Then Gene wrote a letter explaining his views, the GLAAD folk relented and now everyone’s friendly. But for a while it got pretty dark.

But despite leaving ‘Today,’ Gene’s not retiring. His rep has made it clear the mustached movie maven would now ‘pursue other activities’ including publishing, radio work and commercials.

And you can be sure Matt and the rest of the NBC team will tell us all about it…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Today Show’s film critic, Gene Shalit declares fade-out

The 45-year old actor says reports of him binging on cocaine and booze while entertaining a hooker in Room 1832 are wild exaggeration, or pure invention.

“Oh man, I’m fine,” he told Radar by text message. “The story is totally overblown and overplayed.”

But the good folks at the NYPD say Charlie seemed “intoxicated,” and was given the choice of hospital or arrest…But he wasn’t arrested.

After a brief stay at New York’s Presbyterian Hospital for ‘Psychiatric evaluation’ Charlie flew back to LA on Tuesday night, and he’s determined no details of Monday’s events will be discussed.

So here is a case that involves prostitution, criminal damage [repairs to the room will cost $7,000] and visible proof of the use of cocaine…Yet NYPD Spokesman, Paul Browne says Charlie is not expected to face any charges.

And therein lies the problem – Just like Lindsay Lohan, Charlie has a ‘name,’ and that seems to mean he can do as he likes and the PD won’t touch him. And nor will the courts.

But the buzz from this latest relapse will probably boost ratings — which his reps will then use to get even more money for another unwelcome season of that unfunny show. And so it goes on,…until he’s found limp and unresponsive in the Waldorf on the eve of his 50th birthday.

We all mourn the loss of celebrities who died from using drugs, yet the people responsible for those who are living and the laws that surround them stand by and do nothing while these stars indulge their addictions and risk the same grisly and untimely end.

Celebrities who are addicts can either face equal justice or early death, and it’s long past time those who enforce legislation made up their minds…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Charlie Sheen needs real justice, not rehab

The adolescent campaign of teases and self-serving denials began when Mariah, 41, was spied at the ‘Southern California Reproductive Center’ in Beverly Hills – which is a top-rated fertility clinic.

That was on Mother’s Day. Now it seems the treatments she was so coy about getting have resulted in twins.

“Mariah is gushing that she’s going to have twins.” a source tells the Enquirer. “Mariah and Nick both want a big family.”

Now, bearing in mind it took MC and Nick almost two months to stop this infantile teasing and tell fans the truth, the next part of this shameful PR campaign is tackier still:

“If & when my wife is ready to make any announcements about private matters she will do it personally,” Nick sneered via Twitter on Wednesday.  “Thanks for being respectful.”

Respectful?? How about showing one grain of ‘respect’ for the people who have paid for every single thing you and your ungrateful, game-playing spouse have eaten, drunk, worn, lived in or touched for two years at least;

Your fans don’t deserve to be played with like this, therefore neither you nor your wife deserve fans.

Photo by: David

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Mariah Carey proves she’s just one more diva

I’m talking about the seemingly unending swathe of mediocre performers who are so irreparably inept, yet driven by ego they engage in one risible, lamentable and inexcusable publicity stunt after another to achieve notoriety and unwarranted wealth by exploiting and insulting the very people they should regard as the single most important life-forms on this planet – the few blameless souls who even know they’re alive: Their fans.

We need a list which, once one of these dim-bulbs is rightfully placed on it, renders them effectively invisible to all modern media. No interviews, no gossip, no exposure at all – no matter what slick yet desperate stunt they might try to provoke it.

After a short time of such treatment it’s my belief those who face this position will either develop some definable talent – at last – or quit ‘showbiz’ altogether and seek out a job they can actually do; Thus freeing both the media’s time and the public’s attention to focus on those comparatively rare beings who possess both a talent and the willingness to work and thereby deserve the reward.

I’ll start the list:–

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tila Tequila, Heidi Montag [and her hamster-haired cohort,] Madonna, Jon Gosselin and Jennifer Aniston.

If you can think of others – and there are dozens – add them as comments and let’s get that list made, then we’ll all get some peace…

Photo by Viv

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Hollywood needs a new blacklist

The 35-year Puerto Rico-born actor has already made one PSA in support of suicide prevention, but this time he stars in a video supporting PETA’s campaign to end the sickening and barbaric practice of using animals for fashion.

“Exotic animals are mostly unknown to us,” he says in the video. “And so is what they suffer before being turned into belts and bags. You can help stop the suffering. Anything you have that is made from animal skins can be made without,” the message goes on.

The video cuts between scenes of Joaquin talking and clips that show just a few of the ways in which snakes, alligators and other reptiles are bludgeoned to death and even prematurely skinned to be turned into shoes, boots, handbags, jackets and belts – all to feed the vanity of those who have neither their beauty, nor the IQ to care.

I have not eaten meat or worn leather in more than two decades, and the brutal and brainless abuse and its motives that are undoubtedly displayed in this film – which I would never watch – are one reason why.

For the ghoulishly curious who have not recently eaten, you can watch the PSA here. But PETA don’t pull their punches so don’t say you weren’t warned…

Source

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Joaquin Phoenix stars in brutal PETA fur ad

Since he began tweeting on February 24 the 46-year old host has garnered 555,441 followers – and counting. But he’s followed no-one – Until now.

“I’ve decided to follow someone at random,” he tweeted yesterday. ”She likes peanut butter and gummy dinosaurs. Sarah Killen, your life is about to change,” read Conan’s newest tweet – only his tenth in two weeks.

And he was right – In 24-hours the formerly anonymous Michigan resident saw her account‘s followers rise from 3 to 11,730 – all due to Conan.

But unlike most of the celebrities Coco could have followed, were he that dumb, Sarah is using the overnight fame to help other people – She’s planning to walk 60-miles in 3-days to raise funds for the Susan G. Komen Foundation and asked her new fans to donate to the cause.

And true to the spirit of Conan’s disciples, they did – RBR says she’s raised over $1,200 in one day.

Herself a long-time fan of Coco, Sarah’s also planning a wedding in September, and would love her feathery friend to drop by;

“We were only going to invite, like, twenty people. So if he came it could be as big as he wanted,” she told MTV. “He could bring anyone he wanted. He could have more people there than I do.”

She was also asked by the scribes if she thought Coco should start a new show?

“He definitely needs to. Definitely.” she enthused. “He has no idea what he did for me. Just the one day, this is the most awesome day ever!”

Now that’s a charming story, don’t you think? Whatever your views on Conan’s exit from NBC, the man has real class. Most people would have given withering interviews to anyone who would listen [and pay,] bemoaning their treatment, threatening lawsuits and demanding redress.

But not Coco – He picks a random tweeter and changes her life, and she in turn is using that fame to benefit others. And that’s a rare and very welcome event.

As for Conan’s own future path, Ticketmaster’s computers are now buckling under the influx of orders for his newly-announced live show in Phoenix on April 30th, with a nationwide tour after that. So the man is by no means out of the game.

And if he could choose a few more people like Sarah, the result could truly show NBC for the clueless, brainless, ratings-bound droids all his fans now know they are…

Photo by Orky

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Conan O’Brien picks a feathery friend on Twitter

Entitled ‘Superficial’ this tuneless, unwelcome dirge was supposed to be released in 2007, but got delayed as no sane label would touch it. Then it was due in July of 09 – but mercifully, that didn’t occur either.

Finally, on December 29th Heidi confirmed the album would be issued on the label run by her and her hamster-haired husband – Pratt Productions – and be available solely online.

Now the good news: In its first week of release, Nielsen says this miserable assemblage of atonal ramblings has sold less than 1,000 copies.

I’ll give you a moment to compose yourself.

To be exact, the true scale of her underwhelming achievement is just 658 downloads. Worldwide.

This should serve as a much-needed [and long overdue] dose of actual reality for the reality ‘star,’ who claimed she used her own money and almost went broke creating the clearly unendurable insult. But her voices apparently told her she’d soon get it back;

“I put every dollar I have into this, ” she told Us. “I’ve spent almost $2 million. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality…The songs will make an impact in pop history!”

The truth proved somewhat plainer – You need talent to be successful, and she has so far shown none.

Even assuming those numbers are right and this abysmal mistake took 3-years and $2-million, there are only two viable options – She’s either a) lying to get attention,  or b) so utterly and irrevocably devoid of  talent she was incapable of producing even a remotely musical sound, so they had to pay sound engineers to spend 2.9 years on AutoTune to make her sound human.

‘As ye sew, so shall ye reap,’ says the book. Ms. Montag reaped untalented failure. I hope, for all our sakes she can now take a hint…

Photo: BDHQ

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Heidi Montag CD suffers withering sales

The Hollywood Reporter, meanwhile, says that story’s hokum and no deal has been reached.

So, who to believe?

The whole tiresome spat began over ratings, but if NBC could put something even remotely this interesting on their airwaves more often the two hosts would not have bad ratings in the first place!

What I want to know is, the way this fiasco is leading it looks like Leno gets his old job back, and Conan quits his – Yet the meddlesome mouth-breathers who caused the whole mess all get to keep theirs.

…What’s wrong with this picture?

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Jay Leno regains Tonight Show…or does he?

This potential downside of this deal is not far short of a nightmare – The people so underfunded with brains they moved Jay Leno from his throne on the Tonight Show to a deathwatch in prime-time have sold out to the people whose boss gave his girlfriend, Chelsea Handler a job, then expected the nation to call her a ‘star.’

The deal, which will see Comcast pay $6.5-billion in cash and $7.25-billion in assets and debt values NBC at about $30 billion. The implications, however, value its dwindling audience and their remaining intelligence at a far lower rate.

In return for saving NBC’s over-staffed rear from inevitable Chapter 11, Comcast will get a 51% stake in NBC’s cable streams – USA, Bravo, SyFy, CNBC, Telemundo and MSNBC.

NBC itself, and even Universal Studios are regarded as ‘only a small portion’ of the network’s gross value, so says their release.

Jeff Zucker, the current head of NBC-Universal will remain as chief executive, but would be answerable to Comcast’s Chief Operating Officer, Stephen Burke. And Mr. Zucker, the chief architect of NBC’s deliberate down-market slide and the hemorrhaging ratings his choices then caused, calls the decision “the start of a new era” for NBC.

Presumably one in which they don’t make shows that would insult a plank and attract audiences that could get lost in a phone booth?

But it could have been worse – Comcast tried to inhale the Walt Disney Company in 2004, but thankfully failed. And the word is that even Rupert Murdoch had considered a bid.

Can you imagine?? NBC’s whole stable of channels corrupted to be as ultra-right wing and malfeasant as Fox?

NBC once held a proud place in this nation’s fabric, but its recent self-inflicted malaise has since faded that luster. Comcast’s new broom could be just what it needs, but as long as Jeff Zucker and the over-paid suits who both caused and presided over its recent illness are allowed to remain, the wounds will not heal – and nor will the ratings.

NBC’s sale may be over, but its illness lives on. It might not be fatal, but let’s watch and see…

Post by: The Limey. Photo by BoucherMedia

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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NBC’s Comcast deal could still spell the end