In the long and colorful history of this award there can be few people whose claim to deserve it is as solid as Bruce’s. This unique man got famous the old-fashioned way – He worked for it. He’s been performing since he was 13 and to this day it’s still hard to find one person with even a mildly bad view of either him or his work.

So here’s to the unique and irreplaceable Brucie: That is one attractive ribbon you’ve won yourself there, and you deserve every lustrous inch.

Photo by Squeak

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
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Nice to see you, Sir Brucie

This is pure spite by the network for his win in November. It is also both deeply unfair and unprovoked.

I say this was not resignation it was assisted suicide; enabled by a spineless and ungrateful assemblage of unimaginative, infertile drones eager to please and placate their new owners.

Comcast got clearance to absorb the network on Thursday and in 24-hours one of its most popular hosts is no more.

Coincidence? You be the  judge.

This is a breaking story and details will undoubtedly emerge as the hours progress. I’ll update tomorrow when more becomes known. Meantime, let’s hear your views…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Keith Olbermann exits MSNBC…or was he pushed?

And their Entertainment President, Nina Tassler says her department’s concerned;

“We have a high level of concern, how could we not,” Deadline quotes her as saying. “On a personal level we are concerned, but he has his job, he does it well and the show is a hit.”

Most of CBS’ output is television for people who think oatmeal’s exciting, but this is just dumb.

Problem: Your network’s single remaining attraction is an alcoholic, borderline drug addict with painfully poor taste in women.

Solution: Drag his ass to rehab, put his dealers in jail – and cancel that god-awful show.

All ‘concern’ shall thus be resolved…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

CBS ‘concerned’ by Charlie Sheen case

Ryan, 36, has been dating ‘Dancing with the Stars’ performer Julianne Hough for less than a year, but people close to the pair say he’s ready to make it official and has an impressive ring ready in case she accepts;

“Ryan already has the ring – and it’s a rock: Four to five carats,” HMG quotes one source as saying. “He’s had it for a while and is planning the engagement. It’s going to happen in the next few months.”

So why not tell us then – when it actually happened? Simple – because the new season of American Idol starts on January 19th and leaking this story now will get lots of free press…And more ratings.

Asked to confirm these transparent rumors, another source even tried to play it coy;

“If Ryan was planning to propose, why would I spoil the surprise?” they mused. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this over a girl before; they fit perfectly.”

I say this whole tale is yet another patronizing, insulting publicity stunt orchestrated by Simon Cowell, then spoon-fed to the media just before the new season to make more people watch so he and his egocentric associates can make far more money.

What do you think?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

American Idol insults viewers with Ryan Seacrest rumors

On Sunday’s edition of the award-winning show a Fox News helicopter is seen carrying a banner that reads “Fox News: Not Racists, But #1 With Racists!” It deposits a Fox executive on the Statue of Liberty, then goes into a tailspin on take-off and crashes, causing this remark from the pilot;

“It’s not fair, we’re unbalanced!”

The executive then holds a secret meeting in which he and several fellow network bosses plot to spread news of a fake health care scare to increase their ratings, and thus make even more money.

The snag is ‘The Simpsons’ is aired by Fox’s broadcast network, and Rupert Murdoch’s ‘News Corp’ owns both them and Fox News. And that seems to have rather upset little Billo;

“Continuing to bite the hand that feeds part of it, Fox broadcasting once again allows its cartoon characters to run wild,” O’Reilly complained on yesterday’s show. “Pinheads? I believe so,” he sneered.

This man couldn’t find his own butt with Google Earth and a TSA screening. He’s now attacking cartoons for being politically biased.

If you watch the show or can even abide dear little Bill, what’s your response to his latest outburst?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Bill O’Reilly blasts the Simpsons for political bias

Joining past recipients such as Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal and George Carlin, Tina accepted the ‘Mark Twain Prize for American Humor’ during the $1,000-a-plate dinner at New York’s Kennedy Center on November 9th.

And she couldn’t resist a few digs at the ‘unique’ political figure who helped make her a star.

“Politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women,” Fey told the crowd. “Except, of course, those who will end up paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win…Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner, or whatever.”

The crowd loved it. Then Tina floated the punchline;

“But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back – The whole thing’s a disaster.”

But when the show aired on PBS on Sunday, that’s not what was heard. The rape and evolution lines were gone, and only her blander remarks survived, such as;

“I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight,” Tina was heard saying. ”My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me.”

But when it was discovered that PBS had played nanny the viewers were steamed. Now the venerable channel is in ‘Damage control’ mode;

“It was not a political decision,” claimed Peter Kaminsky, one of the show’s producers. “We had zero problems with anything she said.”

He claims the show ran about 20-minutes too long, so they went in with the shears.

“We took a lot out,” he continued, in a clear bid to duck the blame. “We snipped from everyone.”

This isn’t even the first time PBS has cut a recipient’s comments. George Carlin won the award in 2008, but died four days before the ceremony. The ‘Twain’ bosses played a video of his ‘Seven Dirty Words’ routine in tribute – and PBS promptly bleeped most of it out.

So PBS claims it was just done to keep the program short enough for their schedule. Do you think they were right to cut Tina’s remark or was this the political censorship it so clearly resembles?…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Tina Fey’s review of Sarah Palin snipped by PBS

Born in New York on March 25, 1925 the now 85-year old film buff has been a fixture of the ‘Today’ cast since 1970, and he announced his departure with typical brevity;

“It’s enough already!” THR quotes him as saying.

Starting as an occasional guest Gene became a regular part of ‘Today’ in 1973, and also found time to write for publications like ‘Ladies’ Home Journal,’ ‘Cosmo,’ ‘TV Guide,’ ‘Seventeen’ and the New York Times. He even delivered daily essays on life for NBC radio while doing all this – and wrote several books.

Tomorrow willl be Gene’s last appearance [barring re-runs] and the Today crew will mark his departure with a retrospective of his forty years in the job, including film reviews, celebrity interviews and his endless collection of puns.

But they might skip his ‘Brokeback Mountain’ review. When the movie opened in 2006 Gene tore it to shreds and called Jake Gyllenhaal’s character “a sexual predator.” saying he trapped Heath Ledger’s character into ‘sexual  trysts.’

The people at GLAAD had a fit. Then Gene wrote a letter explaining his views, the GLAAD folk relented and now everyone’s friendly. But for a while it got pretty dark.

But despite leaving ‘Today,’ Gene’s not retiring. His rep has made it clear the mustached movie maven would now ‘pursue other activities’ including publishing, radio work and commercials.

And you can be sure Matt and the rest of the NBC team will tell us all about it…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Today Show’s film critic, Gene Shalit declares fade-out

The 45-year old actor says reports of him binging on cocaine and booze while entertaining a hooker in Room 1832 are wild exaggeration, or pure invention.

“Oh man, I’m fine,” he told Radar by text message. “The story is totally overblown and overplayed.”

But the good folks at the NYPD say Charlie seemed “intoxicated,” and was given the choice of hospital or arrest…But he wasn’t arrested.

After a brief stay at New York’s Presbyterian Hospital for ‘Psychiatric evaluation’ Charlie flew back to LA on Tuesday night, and he’s determined no details of Monday’s events will be discussed.

So here is a case that involves prostitution, criminal damage [repairs to the room will cost $7,000] and visible proof of the use of cocaine…Yet NYPD Spokesman, Paul Browne says Charlie is not expected to face any charges.

And therein lies the problem – Just like Lindsay Lohan, Charlie has a ‘name,’ and that seems to mean he can do as he likes and the PD won’t touch him. And nor will the courts.

But the buzz from this latest relapse will probably boost ratings — which his reps will then use to get even more money for another unwelcome season of that unfunny show. And so it goes on,…until he’s found limp and unresponsive in the Waldorf on the eve of his 50th birthday.

We all mourn the loss of celebrities who died from using drugs, yet the people responsible for those who are living and the laws that surround them stand by and do nothing while these stars indulge their addictions and risk the same grisly and untimely end.

Celebrities who are addicts can either face equal justice or early death, and it’s long past time those who enforce legislation made up their minds…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Charlie Sheen needs real justice, not rehab

[The Limey] – The history of music has been blessed with many whose vocal dexterity could hold an audience spellbound, and thanks to America’s Got Talent a new name can be added to that lustrous list – Jackie Evancho.

For Tuesday’s show all the contestants had to submit their auditions by You Tube. One such video came from ten-year old Jackie – and she has the potential to redefine song.

Born in Pittsburgh, PA, the tiny starlet appeared on stage with her long blond hair accenting a dress which gave no clue of the wonders within. The orchestra then formed the opening bars of “O mio babbino caro,” a dramatic aria from Puccini’s 1918 opera ‘Gianni Schicchi.’

And from her small frame came a quite magical sound.

Blending the upper-register trills of the divine Lesley Garrett with the velvet-smooth mid-range that has made Kiri Te Kanawa the rightful focus of worship, Jackie gave a performance of such melodic perfection it left the audience in raptures and the judges all stunned.

“All we wanted was to find that one moment; that one gem,” gushed Howie Mandel. “And you know what? This is the moment; You’re the star.”

Piers Morgan was also left fumbling for words;

“That is one of the most extraordinary performances I’ve ever seen,” he beamed at the dimple-cheeked prima donna.

And Sharon seemed equally floored, “I can’t believe that voice came out of your tiny body,” she said, clearly moved.

The audition ended with Jackie in tears and the audience in full-throated wonder. Watch the video and see how you feel…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Jackie Evancho wows on America’s Got Talent

The former “Arrested Development” star was waiting in line outside Apple’s store at the Grove shopping mall in West Hollywood yesterday, eager to secure the new phone on the day it came out.

Then a store clerk appeared, plucked 41-year old Jason out of the throng and escorted him straight into the store.

“Everyone literally started booing and hissing,” one Apple fanboy told Us Weekly.

‘The crowd just freaked and booed, and he put his head down,’ another recalls.

Once kitted out with the latest technological crutch for a clearly malformed and unstable ego Jason then left the store, met by a chorus of more booing and cat-calls – without saying one single word to those he insulted.

The clearly misplaced admiration of his limited work by those standing in line had given this arrogant ingrate the rare privilege of both the free time and the money to buy the phone in the first place. And their respect is rewarded with inexcusable, self-serving behavior like this.

Also, photos on Us Magazine’s site, and other places, show Jason outside the store with a phone in his hand…Now, how do you suppose the Apple staff knew he was out there?

Does anyone know an app Jason could download that would let him say ‘Sorry, I’m an arrogant a-hole!” to 2,000+ people at once?

Photo: Luke Ford

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Jason Bateman shows inflated ego at iPhone event

Somebody up there likes me!

Pop Eater says the repugnant collection of talentless half-wits that comprises the cast demanded $10,000-a-show each to make season two. And once season three was discussed they wanted even more.

MTV [allegedly] refused.

Season two starts on July 29, and the odds that this is merely hype to lure even more people into subjecting themselves to one of the most offensive examples of mental-floss television are depressingly high.

But if the story is true, it proves even MTV has the IQ to reject the demands of arrogant, greed-driven imbeciles.

The claims of mass firing are so far unconfirmed, so watch this space and I’ll let you know if this story survives…

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

MTV reportedly fires Jersey Shore cast over greed

Now we can suppose NBC will spend the next six months telling us how smart, funny and bitingly relevant the show still is – which is a lie – and how those who don’t watch it clearly need help. But let’s get one thing clear up-front:

If an 88-year old can give teen-focused SNL its best ratings in two years, that only proves what a tired, humorless, self-absorbed corpse the show has become.

For me, it’s a fail. I’m just glad this incessant and patronizing NBC-driven PR stunt is over.

Text © 2009, The Loquacious Limey
All rights reserved.

Betty White doubles SNL ratings, both new viewers amused