The Loquacious Limey

[The Limey] – People, we need a blacklist. A list of all the brainless, worthless, attention-seeking egocentrics who are currently suffering from the groundless delusion they’re famous.

I’m talking about the seemingly unending swathe of mediocre performers who are so irreparably inept, yet driven by ego they engage in one risible, lamentable and inexcusable publicity stunt [...]

[The Limey] – On Monday every D-list starlet’s favorite outlet for self-serving stories, those ubiquitous ‘friends’ spoon-fed a laughably transparent tale to the down-market tabloids that Lindsay Lohan was engaging in ‘knife play’ and ‘cutting herself’ from despair.
The resulting attention then gave Ms. Lohan the chance to ‘graciously’ speak to the media directly, firmly denying [...]

The tale of Jude Law and his unexpected encounter with [alleged] oncoming fatherhood continues to unspool like a bad TV movie.
Samantha Burke, the 24-year old Hollywood wannabe who claimed Jude is her baby’s true daddy has since been ignored by the tabloids, so now a close friend has stepped up to further her claims by [...]

Joining a select brotherhood that only comprises every sentient, non-gay male on the planet, Harry Potter star, Rupert Grint has confessed he has quite a crush on fellow star, Emma Watson.
Rupert, whose work as Ron Weasley has made him a millionaire at the age of just 20, is quite coy on the news, “A lot [...]

Acting is great, but real life is tough. And it gets even tougher when the breadwinner’s gone and you’re suddenly out on your own, with not enough cash coming in.
People die in this business every day. Sometimes, sadly, for real. So if you plan to be famous, one thing you need to get is decent [...]

I don’t usually waste my intelligence or yours on ‘celebrity’ trivia, but this was too good to miss.
Paris Hilton has claimed that, contrary to rumors she almost certainly started and is delusional enough to believe we might even care about, she’s slept with very few people. In an interview with Glamour magazine she says she [...]

Some of you might remember a rather curious show called, “Xena: Warrior Princess”? Well, there’s to be a Convention next month in Los Angeles to allow those with fond memories to debate its appeal and break bread with its stars. Lucy Lawless, who was its title character, will even be in attendance…Almost.
The press release for [...]

The remake of ‘Fame’ I mentioned a while ago is still in development, and things seem to be going quite well; Despite a remarkably modest budget of just $25m, the cast list is almost impressive:Megan Mullally, Kelsey Grammer and Bebe Neuwirth will all appear, and Debbie Allen is [so far] due to be the sole [...]

The news came in from Reuters a few hours ago; “Actor Keanu Reeves was cleared on Monday of any liability for injuries a paparazzo claimed he suffered when he was struck by the actor’s car.”
Altogether, now – Yeeeessssssss!
It was blindingly clear from its very inception that this entire affair was a petulant shake-down. The ‘photographer’ [...]